Relapse Is Normal
Relapse is part of the human experience of addiction, plain and simple. Commonly reported reasons for a relapse include the loss of a loved one, a breakup, a job loss, car accident, injury or any number of other crappy things that can happen to a person. These are all reasonable explanations, however, at the core of every relapse is also a poor decision. That’s the part of the story that gets overlooked.
The Reason For Every Relapse Is The Same
I don’t bring this up to make you feel ashamed or embarrassed. My job, after all, is to be empathetic. I bring it up to help you understand your addiction and build a strategy for long-term success in your battle against it. By first accepting that every relapse is, technically, the result of a poor decision, you will develop a sense of control over your addiction. The poor decision to light up is often fueled by something overwhelming and unfortunate, but taking ownership is important.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Research shows that quitting smoking will require, on average, 6-8 attempts. That’s 5-7 slip-ups, on average. Slip-ups is where the learning occurs. The more you try to learn from a setback when it occurs, the fewer the number of setbacks you will need before you are able to kick the habit for good.
No Finger Pointing
Think about it. If you entirely blame someone or something else for your relapse, then you are surrendering your sense of control over your addiction. When that happens, a sense of hopelessness is strengthened. And that’s not good. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important for me to learn all I can about your relapse in order to provide the greatest help. I want to know the details, but I also want to help you prepare for success.
Consider these examples:
“I relapsed because my favorite aunt died.”
“I relapsed because my girlfriend dumped me.”
“I relapsed because I got fired.”
“I relapsed out drinking with my friend because she smokes.”
These statements imply that a relapse was inevitable. Thinking and talking in these terms weakens your efforts because there will be a sense that another relapse is just around the corner waiting to happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Now, consider these examples:
“I made a bad decision while grieving the loss of my aunt.”
“I neglected to practice relapse prevention when my girlfriend dumped me.”
“I let my recovery slip when I lost my job.”
“I ignored my quit plan when I was drinking alcohol.”
In contrast, these statements imply that a relapse could have been avoided if something had been done a little differently. By taking ownership (at least in part) of your own relapse, a sense of control over the situation can be restored. Take pause to identify what you might have done differently or what you could do differently in the future under similar circumstances. If you are a tobacco user who had quit in the past, ask yourself, “What could I have done differently to avoid a relapse?” It’s a powerful exercise.
Are You Addicted To Nicotine? Considering Quitting?
If you are a tobacco user who lacks confidence in quitting or who even lacks a genuine desire to quit smoking, speaking with a quit specialist can improve those things. If you are just starting out with quitting, you may need a little more help and a bit more time to get prepared for your quit. We just developed a new program option, our Enhanced Preparation Program. This program allows you to begin preparing for your quit without the added pressure of selecting a quit date. Doctors don’t wait for diabetics to eat better or exercise before treating their disease, so we don’t have to wait for you to be ready to quit before starting to treat your nicotine addiction.
We are here to help you. For more information visit www.quitwithalpha.com or call 248-594-1303 and talk to a modern-day quit specialist today.
